As some of you may know, I've recently started working full time with the wonderful design team at Articulate as their resident vector warrior and cat lady. I wanted to throw a few lines down to tell you guys about the transition from freelance to full time work. I've been freelance since I can remember, apart from some work experience when I first left uni and a few months with happiest I have been working completely alone. I feel like I've made the transition from freelancing pretty well however there is one area I'm truly struggling with within my new position.
I'm kind of programmed to do what I'm told. After being an independent illustrator for so long my settings are kind of stuck on getting a brief, throwing ideas around, showing the client sketches then doing exactly what they want from that whether I agree with their decision or not. Sometimes the direction of work was terrible but despite putting my thoughts out there at the end of the day I was contracted to do a job someone else envisioned. I would do what I was asked to do then pass it off to be used in someone else's idea. After a while I got used to that process which is why now ... I suck!
I'm totally not used to being in a team that actually encourages my ideas and opinions, when I come across parts of our design that make me think "this could be so much better" or "we could use something like this here" I tend not to open my mouth. Why? Well I'm really not used to being 'we' and I think there is a little confidence issue in there too. I tend to go quiet in groups of people and automatically put myself at the bottom of the hierarchal chain, I think freelancing has made me believe my opinion isn't really all that valid. Don't get me wrong I go crazy with ideas on the projects I'm given and do the best I possibly can on those but as for the rest of the spectrum I just kid of sit quietly until someone gives me some work. This is really shitty.
The reason I'm getting so stressed out about this is because my employers are so awesome, I want to do the best job I can for them but the fact is, if they wanted a freelancer they would have hired a freelancer. They didn't, they want an illustrator who has great ideas, knowledge and experience to bring those ideas to light. The annoying part is I am that I just need to push myself out of my comfort zone and open my mouth and really get onboard with everything instead of always taking a backseat.
I guess this post was to get those worries off my chest but also to kick myself up the arse and do my job better, not just do the work I'm given but speak up and be the team member Articulate needs.
Cheers for reading, if anyone else has found issues like this I'd love to hear about it. Tweet me :)